Letting Go of all the "Why's"

REPLACING THE “WHY’S”

What works for me, may not work well for you.  All I know is that I am grateful that what I have found IS working for me.  As each day goes by, days do go by and I can’t get them back.  I can’t waste time being sad that life is going on and anyone in my life that still isn’t ready to get help for their addiction, are not enjoying life with me.

That person knows I love them.  They know I have gone to great lengths to help them and that their addiction has denied them the opportunity to accept that help.  Should they come to me today, tomorrow or another day and time and put out their hand to me and tell me that they are ready to get help, and then I shall embrace them and walk next to them during that next phase in their life.  I will support that with all my being.

I will stop questioning every day “why they aren’t getting help”.  The questioning that I had done in the past is now replaced by daily prayer.  God knows how badly I want my loved one to get help.  I trust in God that He will lead my loved in the direction of help.  What I will not consume my entire days and nights with are what if it never happens or what if the addiction takes my loved one’s life.  In God’s hands I have placed my worry and fear.

Not knowing is replaced by prayer. 

Addiction has taken lives and left parents heartbroken and empty.  Addiction has also consumed our loved ones and even though they breathe life each day, the addiction keeps them so very distant from us.  Some ask, “Why would God do this to us?  Why would God bring all this suffering in our lives?”

I don’t have “your” answer, but I know the answer that is meant for me.  During the past twelve years, I have changed.  My faith has grown and I am a better person.  Dealing with the disease of addiction opened my eyes.  I led a very sheltered life where everything was done for me and given to me.  I took so much for granted.  Today, my heart is filled with compassion for others and my gratitude for life and every second that I am blessed with it is absolutely the most precious gift that I embrace each new day.  We all will not live forever and the life we have each day in the here and now is what is important. 

I believe that living a good life now will one day allow me to live with God and all my loved ones again without pain and unhappiness.  I do not question the “why” anymore.  The “whys” have been replaced with “I believe”, “I trust”, and “I have faith in”.

Today I embrace this day and will not let it slip away from me.  My choices.  What is working for me allows happiness into “my” life and for that I am truly blessed and grateful.