I didn't always feel this way of course.
My eldest daughter has been addicted to drugs and alcohol for the past twelve years. It is a sad truth that my story is not unique. There are countless mothers just like me living with this heartbreak.
It took years to reach where I am in my life right now, to where I can find a glimpse of serenity; something I am striving each day to gain more and more of.
When you obtain your first taste of serenity, there is a peace that overcomes you. During your journey through the darkest days, you never thought you would ever sense this freeing moment. Upon quenching my spirit with it at first, I knew I needed more and also knew what I needed to do to get it.
The disease of addiction is masking my beautiful daughter right now, and although she may appear to be familiar to me in appearance, the eyes that look back at me and the foreign characteristics that she possesses are frightening and heart wrenching for me as her mother to accept.
Sharing my journey through these words here, are given to any and all readers out of love and compassion in hope that whatever is taken away can be used to help or heal.
When serenity seeps into my day, I always feel so very blessed. Either in the morning or before I go to bed, I reflect on my life and think of at least one thing I am grateful for. Today I am grateful for knowing how well I am taken care of and that I don't have to have an extravagant life, full of luxuries to be happy. A peanut butter sandwich for dinner while watching silly TV shows in bed with a beautiful healthy grand-daughter is simply one of the greatest luxuries life can provide me with.
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