My daughter is an adult in her thirties and has a beautiful thirteen year old daughter that is a gift from God, and her life is so messed up from addiction, mental instabilities, and bad relationships that it has clouded her vision so badly she is unable to see that life is passing her by along with sharing in all the blessings of watching this beautiful young lady grow up.
As a Mom you never stop loving, you never stop dreaming that a day will come when they have had enough and decide to get help and turn their life around.
Addiction is such a powerful disease. It masks who they are to us as well as to themselves. The addict is in constant incognito until finally they have are mentally convinced that they do not have a problem...YOU do.
Families are torn apart and years past with a great emptiness. If we do too much to help them; we are wrong. If we don't do enough to help them; we are not only wrong but find it difficult to deal each day with that huge serving of guilt that we have failed as parents.
Then, you are sitting alone one day with exhausted from worry and heartbreak staring out onto the beautiful day outside and you realize that addiction is not only robbing your loved one of the full wonderful life they should be enjoying, it has also robbed you of good days that should be filled with joy and happiness.
I had enough. I did not stop loving and will never stop caring. I just want to live again.
Addiction will not beat me down anymore. Each breath that I take is a blessing and I will live to enjoy each day. I will cherish every moment with this beautiful gift of a child and watch her grow. I will be the parent that she needs so badly in her life.
My daughter may die from this disease. That will be her choice. She has a good brain and free will and many offers have been handed to her to get help. She knows where I am if she wantst to get help. She once had the tools in her toolbox from going to treatment before and living in sober living to know what needs to be done.
I am at peace knowing that it is okay to let go. I trust in my God and have put her life in His hands. My worries I have given to Him. My prayers of hope will never cease. My faith keeps that hope present.
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